I have 10 minutes to finish my water. Tomorrow is going to be crazy.
I taught my fourteen year old the fundamentals of great eyeliner today. That is a life lesson that will carry her through thick and thin. You think it won’t? You’re wrong. The ability to artfully apply makeup will give her tools that she will use later on, like control, patience, and confidence. It was a small thing, a daughter coming to her mother and asking for help. But for her-for us-it was huge. The few minutes we spent discussing the finer points of gel versus liquid, felt tip versus brush applicators, how to correct mistakes, showed that she still trusts and values my opinion. I needed that. She did, too. I’m admittedly pretty great at eyeliner. (True story) It was a chance to show her, in a small way, how much I really love her. Don’t be so wrapped up in yourself that you don’t notice these moments; I usually am.
After the kids were all gone to their grandparents’, I wanted a steak. Why not? Why not treat myself to something delicious, reserved for special occasions? This is quite an occasion, I’d say. Since my husband didn’t want to eat, he stayed home. It’s no fun to be at a restaurant, food in front of you, and your partner not participating. So I put on a bit of makeup, some stilettos, and went by myself. the way to the restaurant, my playlist shuffled through AC/DC’s Thunderstruck, Smashing Pumpkins’ Today, and Pharell’s Happy. Perfection! It was a proper send off, even without a glass of wine. So there I was, at peace. listening to and enjoying the sounds of the people around me, the birthday dinner, the father and daughter, the anniversary. It was exactly the right place for me at that moment.
It wasn’t a goodbye to the breast tissue that is coming out, though. That, the part that fed five beautiful children, that have been my bane and my blessing, has done its part. It took knowing they are going to be changed to really love them, though. No, it was a farewell to the part of my life that is ending. It was a confirmation that I am going to be ok.
I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
The Boobpocalypse is nigh. Phase II is beginning.
Damn, I ran out of time for my water. Oh well.