Is That A Maxi Pad On Your Chest, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Oh, yeah! I bought 2 bras! 2! Real bras, not sports bras or post surgical bras, no ma’am!  From Soma, my favorite lingerie store, no less. I tried on a few different styles, and it turned out that the only things that felt right were the mastectomy bras. Hm. Huh. Between the concave area and how tender it still is and the new shape (not complaining! Not! It’s just still different), I liked the additional coverage and the ability to slightly fill it in in key areas if I want. I’ll be damned. But it closes in the back, has cups, and made me feel a bit more normal. There’s no way for me to articulate how much I’ve missed the feel of a normal bra!

So I threw on my brand new brassiere and headed off to get my port this morning! Woot! It’s pretty tender right now, but I’m hoping it’ll be ok in a few days. Actually, it won’t, it’ll take a while to heal, considering that it is still healing from 5 1/2 weeks ago! And the dressing for the port looks like a maxi pad stuck on my chest, which is certainly a look. The plan was to have the port surgery first thing in the morning, then head down the block right away and hit the chemo. Have you figured out how my plans seem to go lately? No? They seem to change at the very last moment every single time! Today’s surprise was that the MRI results from Friday came in either late last night or early this morning. They were enough for Dr. Romero, who is on vacation in Europe, viewed them and called her P.A., Jena, and told her to find a way to convince me to do the biopsy. Even though the chemotherapy regimen had been changed to a much more aggressive plan without the biopsy, the MRI showed what the fuzzy, indistinct CT scans did not. Namely, the actual lesion. It’s larger than originally described, and is the majority of the bone, it seems. Considerably larger with a clearly defined picture? Now that I can accept. That  will agree to biopsy, because it means the difference between my bones becoming brittle and a possible collapse (it sounds more and more fun every day, doesn’t it?! Jeeeeez) and being able to add a certain medication to help build up my bones. There was more to it, but keep in mind that I was only out of that little surgery for about an hour while we were talking about it. The main idea is that now I will ok the biopsy. There is a better reason for it, and a clearer picture. Also, with the port, the constant searching for a decent vein, only to have them constantly blow is OVER! Hooray! It’s starting to not be funny anymore.So far there’s a bit of nerve damage in my wrist, every vein goes bad and blows pretty quickly, all from trying to access them on a constant basis.

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This weekend, I went for a real grocery run by myself for the first time in 6 weeks. Do you have any idea what that means?! It means Bulk Groceries! That stuff gets heavy, too. So I’ve got my brand new bras in the car, I’ve eaten lunch with my friend, and put it off as long as possible. It took about 2 hours to do it, but I managed to get through the whole store, and came home with fooooood! Hooray! You know what else I did Sunday and Monday? Laundry. And lots of it. That was a big accomplishment. Now I’m back a few steps, it seems. It’s ok, though. There will always be laundry to wash, food to buy and prepare, and the normal home stuff.

I was talking to my dad while he drove me this morning, and we talked about the stupid side effects of everything, like hair loss. I really hope this is the end of shaving my legs and underarms for a few months!

Sometimes levity is vital, y’all.


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