I was having a completely horrible day. Truly terrible. The day I was released from the hospital was the day I got a certified letter from work stating that my Leave of Absence was over & either I hightailed it back to work pronto or I was being separated from employment. Amicably, and with the ability to return someday in the misty future, but see ya latah alligatah. I did what any rational person would do and sat on it, with a growing sense of panic, over the weekend. On Tuesday I called hr to find out what to do, as the company that administers the disability benefits (note, not the insurance company that pays the benefits, who had already approved my long term disability benefit, pending some info that took altogether far too long to be faxed from my oncologist’s office) sent me a letter of denial for long term disability. This is still in the air, and being looked into, just so we’re all on the same confusing page.
So, yeah, I was freaking the ever-loving-hell out. It added to everything else that was going on. In the middle of all of this was a refund check (from the hospital which adds to the weirdness and irony) sitting on my nightstand, waiting patiently to be deposited. I’ve had bad luck using the app to take a photo of a check & have the funds deposited before, so I prefer to go see my friends at the bank (Shoutout Cindy, Lisa, & Lisa! You’re the best, ladies!) I’ve struggled with fatigue and this was the first time I drove my car for a few days, and didn’t really feel like going inside so I pulled in to the drive thru lane. The curb viciously attacked my tire, and I ended up with a flat within about 30 seconds. Oh, glorious! Exactly what I needed!
I ended up going inside and waiting for AAA and it was, in fact, exactly what I needed.
First of all, I like these ladies. They’re a hoot, all of them are super nice, and it gave me a moment to stop freaking out. I was being shown that things were going to be ok and that even in the face of something as stressful as the current situation people are there to help, with open arms, cold bottles of water, and possibly a lollipop.
That is something that has really kept me from drowning in self-pity or despair during some of my worst moments:
People reach out, they help, they remind me that not only will things be alright but that the world isn’t crashing down around me.
Sometimes it is a card or text, a dm, or a lunch catching up. I’ve really seen the power of connecting with others, and it makes things so much better.
I need to write a stack of thank you notes.
Life is absurd. It is filled with terrible things interspersed with beautiful moments, surrounded by a bunch of boring crap. It is ok to be blunt, to not beat around the bush, and to laugh at things when they are bad. I have an absurd sense of humor, so that helps.