All I do is THINK. Think. think. And take tests, go to appointments, have my plans changed; wait. And think. I think about the future, both immediate and far away. I think of the past, of the could have, would have, should haves. Of the nevers. Of the always. I think about the maybes. All … More The End Of The Beginning
I love that song. It’s been on a near-constant rotation since May in my playlists, joined by Cough Syrup, My Body, and a handful of other songs. I realized yesterday that while I’ve been convalescing I haven’t been listening to much music. The reasons are dumb and mundane, but there’s something about it that is … More Shut Up And Dance With Me
I’m weaning myself off of my pain meds. Holy sweet 6lb sweet baby Jesus on a stick! FFFFFFFluffernutter! Jumpin’ Jehosephat! Damn, y’all. Breathing exercises are in full play, but that doesn’t mean I feel awesome. Double damn! The alternatives, though, are numb fingers and brain cells and overdoing things to the point of exhaustion because I’m not sure … More Reality Bites
I have 10 minutes to finish my water. Tomorrow is going to be crazy. I taught my fourteen year old the fundamentals of great eyeliner today. That is a life lesson that will carry her through thick and thin. You think it won’t? You’re wrong. The ability to artfully apply makeup will give her tools … More Boobpocalypse!
(There’s a bit of profanity in this one. Head’s up) I’ve begun to think of the current situation as such: Phase I: Planning, Zoning, and Pre-Construction Pricing (diagnosis, planning) Phase II: Demolition and Construction (surgery, chemo) Phase III: Final Build-Out (recovery, remission) Phase I is coming to a close on Monday morning, so there is … More It’s The Final Countdown
That’s a real thing, you know. At least it is for me. I found it by chance, because I decided to go ahead and go into the boutique at my cancer center, the one that I didn’t want to go into. The lady who worked there is just so nice. Pamela. What a doll. Anyway, … More I Passed Cancer Class!
One of the things I promised myself that I would make a priority again this year was going to see live shows and concerts. I love them and always have. For many, many years I didn’t go to shows. At all. Then it was just kids’ shows, then one for me every couple of years. … More The Grateful Dread
It has occurred to me that I’ve left out some pretty big details. It occurred to me because I’m answering many of the same questions over and over. So, here is a synopsis of my personal breast cancer. It’s really important to remember that your cancer, or your mom’s, aunt’s, friend’s, sister’s, or third cousin four times removed’s cancer … More Information Station
That’s it- I’m done wallowing. Done. Done-teh-de-done-done. I’M DONE WALLOWING!!!! Fuck that noise. No, seriously. I mean, I think it’s ok to have moments, and I’m still mad as all hell, but I gave myself some time to grieve and was just…wallowing. Like a pig. There’s no reason for this. None. Ok, cancer, but there are, … More Suck It Up, Buttercup!
My Cancer Playlist I used to fancy myself adventurous. It was self-deceptive but it felt good to think that I was someone who took risks on a whim. Realistically, I’ve always needed someone else to be my wingman, or something that spurred me on (like vodka, for instance). But adventurous, I am not. I truly, truly, … More Did I Mention How Much I Hate Roller Coasters?